Random Post #2

I'm running out of ideas what to write about, even the post is untitled. Even if I write about today it wouldn't seem interesting, went to the campus center to pass up my SDG assignment and played basketball in the evening, that about sums it up I guess...

Finished my dinner and finally thought about something. It was yesterday, my roommates and I (excluding my senior roommate) were discussing about what to do with the room once our senior roommate left. But in the middle of our discussion my other 2 roommates were slowly starting to talk about the bad side of our senior roommate, saying that he was a slob, irresponsible, lazy, dirty, and a lot more, as if they are glad that he'll be gone soon.

I mean, come on, give the guy a break, he's not that bad of a guy, during exams he is a great example, look at him, studying hard and true, reminding us juniors to study hard and aim for better grades. He was a great friend too, I and him had great times before. Most of the time my other 2 roommates wouldn't be in the room, so my senior roommate would accompany me.

Anyways I wish all the best and good luck, I would be lying if I say I won't miss him.

Random Post #1

It's pretty funny though, that everyone around me are fretting over their exams, trying to figure out how to overcome them, trying to find a way to deal with the pressure, thinking as if it will be the end of the world if they don't do well...

Sure I worry about exams, but not enough. Not enough to the extent that I would complain or regret that I didn't do well. Perhaps I'm arrogant enough to think that exams are nothing to me, but that's just the half truth (or half lie), the point is that my mind is off to somewhere else.

Today was just one of those days, you don't feel like waking up, and if you do wake up the only thing that comes to mind would be what to eat for lunch. Walk down the cafe and you'll see a familiar sight, 4 stalls would be open most of the time, there's nasi lemak, noodles, the main mixed rice stall, and ahhh, the all time popular choice, Pak Lang nasi ayam... And then you'd be wondering whether to pack your food or eat in the room, or just eat at the cafe. Since there's nobody in the room for a moment, might as well just eat here to pass time.

Finished my lunch, wondering what to do next, buy a drink perhaps, and maybe some Pringles, then what next? Oh yeah, there's another movie in my laptop that I haven't watched yet, hmmmm, snacks, drinks, and a movie, another way to pass time...

And the movie ends, planning on what to do next, I find my ears itching for some melodies, so I opened up iTunes, and Soitaire... I have no idea how much time has passed, playing some card game and listening to sappy songs without a worry in the world (well not really)... Looked at the watch and the short one points to 5... I look outside and see a truck and nobody... Felt tired, took a nap, and then waking up to sounds of a ball bouncing behind my room, another way to pass the time....

And finally I'm here, in the cafe again, with my trusty old laptop typing away random stuff that don't make sense....

The only sense I could make out of this post is that whatever I did or planned to do couldn't make me stray away from the fact that I've been thinking about someone... And the very same fact that I couldn't stop... For what reason, I don't know... I also know that someone will read this blog and then tell me stuff that I wouldn't like... Huh, who gives a damn...

Sent another message...

These Few Days

It's been a while since I've last wrote any new posts, 3 exam papers in 3 days in a row, obviously my time is all tied up...

I'm kind of glad that I have exams to be worried about in those 3 days, the focus and concentration I had for those 3 days is quite exceptional in my part, but the most of all, these exams made me stop thinking about the nonsense that has been going on this semester.

Now that I have a gap of another 5 days before my next 2 semesters, it's back to the nonsense...

Even the trip to Kuala Perlis yesterday with my coursemates didn't stop me from thinking about it. I thought the breeze of the sea could calm me down, but the more I wanted to stop thinking about it, the more frequently it came back to haunt my mind. Who am I kidding here... I can't get it off my mind.

Valuable

Ever wondered what is the most valuable thing in the world? Some would say gold, some would say water, heck some would even say family or loved ones... But what do I say? I say memories... Good or bad, sweet or bitter, it doesn't matter...

It's proof that we are alive, that we once done great things and done very very stupid things... These memories will stay with us till the day we die, after all, when we become old, we only have our memories. People tend to look back instead of looking in front towards the future. Why is that?

All I know is, people can't help it, and we remember these things for a reason. How is it that we can't remember something we did a few days or few weeks back, wheareas we can remember something that has happened in our childhood or years back? Whether if it's good or bad, we remember them because it has become a part of our lives, and it has made us who we are today.

What we have done in the past has slowly shaped us, molded our personalities, gave us the beliefs we have today. So in general you may say that memories tells us who we really are, something like a reference to our true identities...

We end up regretting about the silly things we did in the past, I tend to do that sometimes, but I've found a way to look at the brighter side of things... Instead of sulking, I should be grateful about the things I had that not many people have...

I have to admit though, remembering who I was, what I did, who am I with, how I achieved, how I failed, how I'm love, and how I'm loathed... These things keeps me going on the right track, part of my memories tells me that I should change my ways to make things better, some of it would indicate that I maintain part of my personality because it had a positive effect. It's like assessing what you did before, and you try to adjust and change accordingly or maintain the good work.

But the funny thing is, I don't think I've ever changed and might never will... Because my memories were there to confirm it, and my history has told me that I'm great just the way I am! But that doesn't mean I don't have my flaws too! Hahaha... Man, thinking back... You seriously can't help but laugh....

I can't even imagine what would happen if I lost my memories, who will I become then? I might become another person, a whole new personality, someone I don't want to be... Ask yourself this, how would you feel if your memories, the only proof for you that you existed in this world, vanished? Heck, I don't even want to think about that... That's why memories are most valuable to me...

More than Tradition

Please note that this is not an emo post!

The Qing Ming festival... Obviously it is a Chinese festival which is held every year. To the Chinese this festival is synonymous with the celebration of life, respecting the elders, link to the spiritual world, and the importance of family values. But to me it's more than that, I see this festival as a day where everyone can share memories of their loved ones.

Every year my family and I would go to the graveyard where my grandpa was buried and then to the Pagoda where my grandma was cremated. The trips aren't always that pleasant I assure you, especially for those who know what I mean! The graveyards will always be packed with cars, and if it's a rainy day it's even worse... Muddy puddles, slow traffic, and the long waits to pray to the Gods and Ancestors before visiting my grandpa. The Pagoda is even worse! Other than the slow traffic and the number of people that could fill up an ocean, the smoke from burning joss sticks and flying ashes are much more unpleasant as they hurt your eyes and blur your vision.

As a child I did complain a lot during these trips, but as I got older I see the meaning behind the festival. My family is very small, and alas, I've never met my paternal grandparents before, and to think that I can only "meet" them once a year gives me more reason to appreciate this festival. Every year when the family gathers around grandpa, my dad and ah bo (aunt), will tell us stories about him, about how kind he was, how jolly he was, how great a cook he was, even how much a mahjong player and drinker he was! My dad would even say this, if my grandfather were still alive today he would definitely spoil his grandchildren...

Spoil his grandchildren huh... I'll never be able to experience anything like that... But every year when we visit him, I can feel so much warmth just by looking at his picture... He must have been a great guy...

But the stories about my paternal grandma are even better! As a kid up until now I've always asked my parents how my grandma was, the stories they told me are always full of inspiration... How she nurtured and educated her kids all by herself (grandpa passed away when my dad was only around 9), her sensibility, dignity, all in all a real terrific woman, as my dad would say... He even told me how she spoilt my elder cousins, which makes me a little envious, but at least she's still able to see my elder bro and me coming into this world and even gave us our chinese names before she passed away (I am proud of my Chinese name grandma!). Too bad she didn't get to see my lil bro getting born, but since she's up there I think she has witnessed it herself... Heh...

It's been 2 years since I've not been visiting both of them because I have to be in UUM. That means my grandparents won't be able to see me as a Uni Student! I've always imagined how proud and happy they would be seeing another scholar in the family...

I may never have the chance to be cared, loved, or spoiled by my grandparents but they will always remain in my heart... And will always be my inspiration and motivation... I am sure they would want the best for me, and more importantly, they would want me to be a fine, decent man... I will not let them down... Rest in Peace... Love you grandpa, grandma....

What was that song again?

As I was listening to some music and trying to finish my assignments I was suddenly thinking about a certain, familiar tune in my head...

A very soothing song, a jazz song, and a name that has something to do with a place that starts with the letter "I"...

Hmmm... Is it Ibiza? No way... That's a Vengaboys dance song...

Hmmm... Argentina? Wait a minute it starts with "I" not "A"...

I know this tune and I know this song! I just can't remember it! Arrgh.... So after finishing an assignment and a bath I rushed down to the cafe with my trustworthy laptop, scurrying through the internet looking for clues and hints about the song... As I search through the many jazz songs starting from the 1900s I almost gave up until I've seen a title on my computer screen which looks so damn familiar... "The Girl from Ipanema"....

Hmmm.... "Ipanema".... It's a place somewhere in Rio de Janeiro.... Whoa! This has gotta be it!!
Time to download! Thank god for the internet!!! Muahahahahahaha...!

What's the Big Deal!?

Hey UUM!!! What's up with blocking students in UUM for entering facebook!? You got a problem with us using facebook? Give me one good reason why I should suffer the consequences of not being able to check the wheareabouts and communicate with my old friends!

This is getting on my nerves! What's the big deal man!?

Who am I kidding?

I know what I've written from my last post was a bit too.... Ummm... Is awkward a good word? The truth is I do things based on feelings rather than thoughts. It's an old habit of mine I guess, when I get too emotional I'll do all sorts of negative things... Forgetting the best things I have in life...

I was emo for a while yesterday but then when I got back to my room from a "lonely" walk I suddenly changed... I said to myself "arrr screw it... I'm gonna go play basketball!" and I was in pretty good form after a 2 week absence from the sport... Scoring shot after shot... Felt great!

Aww crap.... Assignments... Oh well it's managable so I'll just chill first before starting work on them again....