You

The world feels so cold today,
And the harshness it brings,
Like an arrow,
Pierced through my heart.

Then the next day,
There's summers day,
Bringing a warmth,
I thought I never knew.

Trying to get to you,
But I'm held back,
By a force,
I could never overcome.

I could find another,
To replace you,
Yet my heart yearns,
This silly heart of mine.

And then this time,
I'm,
Losing my mind,
Just for you.

So be it,
I'll,
Be all alone,
Just for you.

It doesn't matter even,
If there's no sun,
If there's no wind,
If there's no water,
But not you...

(Lyrics of a song that have suddenly popped in my head, Heheh)

Bloody Hell

Yup I am back home but seriously I'm filled with mixed emotions here, of course I'm happy to be back but I'm also pissed because my plans for the week have been ruined (I hate it when my plans get disrupted suddenly grrrrr). Well anyway no point complaining now, I'm here right now so I have to make up for lost time, maybe see a friend or two.... Wait a minute they're in University right now, and one of my best mates who came all the way from Australia went to Jakarta yesterday... Great timing...... =.=

Oh well it could have been worse, and then again it's pretty darn funny seeing all the other students running for their lives on Sunday, it feels as though the apocalypse has arrived, darn if I had my camcorder.....

I wouldn't like to say anything bad but man last Sunday the ones who were running around like headless chickens were... Chinese? Darn put yourself together man! It's not like were gonna die if we don't go back and even if they really close down the place and would not let us out, so what!? Ok I can understand if the girls get a little panicky but the guys, darn I slap my forehead everytime I see a guy panic...

And then the rumors about the whole University getting quarantined after 8pm, Sunday, I would certainly like to bash the @#%#@#$! that made that statement. It's ridiculous! If they want us to get the hell out of there why give us a time limit? 20,000 students and you expect them to go back in 2 hours time? Appalling...

I would like to applaud the Malays though, their laid back attitude worked out just fine that time, and as I would like to say... Rilek la!

Honesty

This bad habit of mine can really drive oneself crazy. I had one of those sleeples nights again yesterday. Each thought coming in through waves and waves until I could drown. Thinking too much again? Yeah.

I think my biggest problem is, I spent too much time thinking what might have been, what would happen next, what should I do, instead of being honest with myself, asking myself, what do I really want?

Nowadays there is an issue which I'm not sure about now, it's hard to explain... It's like you were very positive about something before and now you're not really sure about it. And the other problem is that I still kept going, without even knowing what my purpose is, am I being stubborn? Am I following my heart? Is this the right choice?

Sometimes I do really hope that someone could guide me or tell me what to do...

But in this cold, cruel world, you're really on your own buddy...

Mind and Heart

A clash of thoughts and emotions. Do you follow your heart or your mind? Sensibility or feelings? Of course it depends on the situation at hand but there comes a time when you will face something that could make you confused.

Am I using my mind? To seek out the logic behind the problem, to solve with reason and sense. Or am I using my heart? Sailing as the wind takes me? Following what I feel is best?

Sometimes I don't even know which is which but in the end what matters most to me is that it gets the job done. Not this time though.

Facilitators

Man... These 2 weeks has been one of the most hectic, painful, enjoyable, and fulfilling experience I've ever had in life up to this point. All the blood, sweat and tears I have given up during the orientation was not in vain at the very least.

I've seen many acts of courage, responsibilty, sense of duty, efficiency, toughness, and sacrifice in these 2 weeks, from people whom I've worked with as fellow facilitators, whom I have the honor to call friends, united regardless of color, gender, age, culture, and race to fulfill our duties as facilitators, to take care of the freshmen, to guide and direct them to the right path. They will remain in my heart and in my memories forever. Any facilitator that has worked with me have all been fantastic, and the best thing is, we went through it together even though if it's brief. Most probably, we will not be seeing each other again that often anymore after the orientation but I'll be sure to at least give out a friendly smile, a wave, or maybe we could catch up for lunch!

In these 2 weeks, I've experience true companionship (nothing to do with relationships obviously), working together, helping each other, solving problems together, scream together, cried together, hugged each other, this experience is truly exceptional as I feel a sense of belonging, gratitude, trust...

But it's all gone now and we have to continue our usual routine and lives. Thank you for being such great friends, thank you for allowing me to work with all of you, thank you with all my heart, you guys are truly the best and deserve much much more.

Thanks to: Along (Leader of the facilitators of DPP YAB), Abang Nik (haven't seen him in 3 days now...), Kim, Wan, Hanif, Aishah, Yoges, Kumar, Selva, Naagin, Linda, Nani, Shah, Zaza, Lin, Teh, Wan Cheng, Mei Teng, Chong Wei, Han Young, Chia Ping, Lonny, Hafiz, Rozi, Zaman, Sham, Loga, Ida, Ayu, Ijan, and the others! You know who you are and I love you guys!

YAB BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!