I really have no idea what to write, but I felt like writing... Sometimes I really do want to write about what I'm thinking of at the moment, my imagination, my fears, my dreams, my hopes, what my future beholds... But this IS a blog and people are going to read it, so I have to be careful.

All along, I've always thought that I'm helping people, but the truth is, I'm trying to please people, so that they do not hate me, condemned me. As life goes on, you learn the hard way that you can't please anyone, and pleasing people all the time won't get you anywhere. What's the point in doing something silly like that and get betrayed in the end? You get fooled, you get played like a ragged doll, you get laughed at, and worst, no appreciation whatsoever. Appreciation? Heh, how naive...

I have to admit, I longed for another relationship, to hold her hand, gaze into her eyes, talk about stuff which makes no sense but makes you laugh, talk about what's in our hearts, listening to her and her listening to me only to end with a hug or her head on my shoulder, and possibly a kiss, over a sunset in the beach, or even in a cozy room. You know, to feel good with someone without any reason at all, is there really such a thing?

I believe that ACCEPTANCE plays a big part in lasting relationships and love. Why would I say that? Maybe all this time, I'm looking for acceptance in the end, I mean if you have to change yourself to make people like you, then that means they didn't like you for who you are in the first place! Sometimes I would think that "I can accept almost anybody for who they are, why can't they accept me?" but in the end I realize I was being a hypocrite. The truth is I can tolerate a lot of people instead of accepting them because no matter what there will always be contradictions in beliefs. So acceptance is not that easy.

Saw my niece for the very first time, a real active baby, kicking, smiling, and rolling around in her baby cot with enthusiasm. And then I saw the baby's father, my cousin, how happy he is, even when he and her wife are struggling to make ends meet in their business or even buying baby milk powder! I wonder how does it feel to be a father, how does it feel to see your child brought to this world. A smile is present in my face whenever I have such thoughts, but I would always be wary not to be naive, as bringing up a child takes a lot of your time and energy. The responsibility and dedication it takes in raising a child is overwhelming, so I better work harder and hopefully make the right choices to create a better environment for my children.

Say what you want, you may think it's silly and all that, but this is what I'm really thinking and how I feel about things.