Sleepless

I'm having one of those sleepless nights again, and as usual, a lot has been going on in my mind.

This time though I was not thinking about anything emo, but about what songs to pick in an upcoming singing competition that I want to participate in.

I know so many songs, so many genres, and multiple languages but I want to pick songs that justify and define who I am. Now this is going to be real hard, hence the insomnia tonight. I'm being real picky again, choosing one after another, having second thoughts, so I couldn't really decide. And then suddenly I have doubts about my voice and all, I mean can I really sing? Can I really show character in my voice? Be a showman?

Man I ain't no Freddie Mercury nor can I sing like Van Morrison, some people in the past said that I have potential, but I'm not convinced. And then there's the problem of whether people have heard the song or not. I was about to choose "Jealous Guy" by John Lennon, simple, meaningful, overall great song, but have the guys and gals in UUM heard it before? Then I thought of choosing a Chinese song but I want to be different, I don't want to be "just another Chinese dude singing a Chinese song"! And yes, the mainstream songs, the ones you've heard on top ten charts in MTV or local radio stations, ah man I don't want to sound "commercial", I refuse to be like a "product" made out of Simon Cowell's "factory".

Yup I know I know, I think too much, I'm being a bad sport, and I'm being picky. So in the end I told myself that actually the song doesn't matter, it's the voice that counts, developing your own style, because seriously, I don't want to sound "karaoke" either ha ha...

The next thing I'm worried about is where to train, I mean, I'm pretty shy about singing when people are around, except when they asked for it, which makes my voice pretty inconsistent. In karaoke joints well, the music is so loud and other friends would fight for the mic just to have a piece so you usually go full blast and can't hear your pitch and notes well.

The only place I can sing comfortably is in my car while I'm driving alone ha ha! Darn...

Arrgh, now I'm thinking of forgetting this silly attempt, why the hassle? Ha ha... As if people are really going to admire my voice, and competition is probably fierce.