There are so many things I keep inside that I almost forgot what it feels like to let it all out. Even when people are not listening.

I can't stop thinking about her, it's been going on for months, giving me sleepless nights and emotional outbursts...

Why not get it over with? Heh... Yeah why not? What's pulling me back? What's stopping me from taking the next step? Fear?

Fear is definitely involved in this matter, but what is it I really fear I do not know.

But yet I feel the need to be there for her when she really needs it. And every time when I'm unable to do it I feel helpless, useless, down....

I'm not sure if I'm the one she needs right now, so far I haven't had any clues or hints or perhaps I'm too blunt to see it, too oblivious... I'm not sure...

I could have ignored this, could have met someone else, could have had my share of fun but in the end... I'll end up going through this all over again... This is who I am really, a part of me that cannot change...