More than Tradition

Please note that this is not an emo post!

The Qing Ming festival... Obviously it is a Chinese festival which is held every year. To the Chinese this festival is synonymous with the celebration of life, respecting the elders, link to the spiritual world, and the importance of family values. But to me it's more than that, I see this festival as a day where everyone can share memories of their loved ones.

Every year my family and I would go to the graveyard where my grandpa was buried and then to the Pagoda where my grandma was cremated. The trips aren't always that pleasant I assure you, especially for those who know what I mean! The graveyards will always be packed with cars, and if it's a rainy day it's even worse... Muddy puddles, slow traffic, and the long waits to pray to the Gods and Ancestors before visiting my grandpa. The Pagoda is even worse! Other than the slow traffic and the number of people that could fill up an ocean, the smoke from burning joss sticks and flying ashes are much more unpleasant as they hurt your eyes and blur your vision.

As a child I did complain a lot during these trips, but as I got older I see the meaning behind the festival. My family is very small, and alas, I've never met my paternal grandparents before, and to think that I can only "meet" them once a year gives me more reason to appreciate this festival. Every year when the family gathers around grandpa, my dad and ah bo (aunt), will tell us stories about him, about how kind he was, how jolly he was, how great a cook he was, even how much a mahjong player and drinker he was! My dad would even say this, if my grandfather were still alive today he would definitely spoil his grandchildren...

Spoil his grandchildren huh... I'll never be able to experience anything like that... But every year when we visit him, I can feel so much warmth just by looking at his picture... He must have been a great guy...

But the stories about my paternal grandma are even better! As a kid up until now I've always asked my parents how my grandma was, the stories they told me are always full of inspiration... How she nurtured and educated her kids all by herself (grandpa passed away when my dad was only around 9), her sensibility, dignity, all in all a real terrific woman, as my dad would say... He even told me how she spoilt my elder cousins, which makes me a little envious, but at least she's still able to see my elder bro and me coming into this world and even gave us our chinese names before she passed away (I am proud of my Chinese name grandma!). Too bad she didn't get to see my lil bro getting born, but since she's up there I think she has witnessed it herself... Heh...

It's been 2 years since I've not been visiting both of them because I have to be in UUM. That means my grandparents won't be able to see me as a Uni Student! I've always imagined how proud and happy they would be seeing another scholar in the family...

I may never have the chance to be cared, loved, or spoiled by my grandparents but they will always remain in my heart... And will always be my inspiration and motivation... I am sure they would want the best for me, and more importantly, they would want me to be a fine, decent man... I will not let them down... Rest in Peace... Love you grandpa, grandma....